Sundays are the days when the entire weeks' accumulated physical strain comes back with a vengeance and attacks mercilessly.Argh...it was a chore to drag myself out of bed for my morning run(I know,I love running,but there are certain bad days you know...),I could hardly open my eyes!Thank goodness for the brilliant weather-not too hot yet not rainy(it better not rain!) and as usual,the feeling was just splendid after that*smiles*Ahh...the little pleasures of life.
There was emotional drain as well,I just felt so shag throughout the rest of the day,not even enough for the temporary endorphin boost that running gives to cover.I seriously think I have a problem with thinking-I just think too much.Fuck.I just seem to think and think and think,and imagine all the worst possible things that can happen and that affects me so adversely...It's starting to affect others around me as well.Initially I told myself that it was just a phase that everyone goes through,but really,I don't think so-that was just mere consolation to make myself feel better.Am I just too pessimistic or what?I always force myself to present a really happy and optimistic front to others,but deep down I feel like cheating myself and them.It's not good to fake(sorry,I can't help it).it's not a phase that everyone goes through...I'm the only weird one,and dammit,that's really scary.Even my brother thinks that I "space out" too often,so much so that I always seem to be stoning away whenever people talk to me.He says I look detached and obscured within my own world...is that true?I don't know,neither do I want to know how I look like...but I just can't remember what I was thinking about that made me so spaced out!I have to do something to change that,and maybe I can start off by not thinking so much.Just do things and not think too deep into everything,or else I will be killed by my own thoughts.Wonder how much brain juice I have left to spend on thinking more necessary things,like my studies and stuff...Dammit.
Faith, sweet Faith!Why have you forgotten me?
Confidence, bold Confidence!Why have you denied me?
Assurance, sure Assurance!Why have you betrayed me?
Faith, your quick forgetfulnessTortures my heart.
Confidence, your shameless denial Pierces my mind.
Assurance, your unpardonable betrayal Veils my soul.
ps.Man Utd lost to Chelsea!Argh!how can that happen?grrr...at least Man U still have something to fall back on*winks*
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