Consuming thoughts

When things always seem to be going real bad,no one is really to blame-no one,that is,except yourself. You are the one letting your poisonous thoughts consume you,so much so that they control your life by ruining your mood for an entire day,sometimes much longer than that.

The worst feelings are that of crushed hopes or failed expectations. How badly you long for something to happen,and the yearning is enough to drive your feelings into a crazy run,yet when the moment for it to arrive turns out to be the most disappointing moment ever. The crushed feeling,of having such lofty wishes simply shattering before you can ever comprehend what's happening,really sucks.

It also sucks to keep trying at something,hoping beyond your wildest,craziest dreams that you will succeed,yet nothing seems to be happening. They say,"Persevere and you will succeed." You can truly scoff at that. What success are they talking about? Try after try after try turns out to be nothing more than where you were at square one,and over time,you can't blame the natural reaction of the human body to just give up and spare it some emtional torture. Sometimes you must know when to give yourself,and your poor brain(or heart,for that matter) a well-deserved break. Too much provocation within a short period of time is seriously not healthy,lest your name is permanently inked in the records of some mental health facility.

Say no also,to the irritating recurring thoughts within your brain. "Why did it happen that way?" "Why didn't it turn out that way?" And the whole day is wasted on such unproductive thoughts. You try to keep yourself occupied with favourite activities,mindless bantering with close friends,or just simply drowning yourslef in emo music,but these are merely part of a superficial blamket you use to (unsuccessfully)mask your true emotions. In the end,when you are all alone and trying hard to enter the realm of dreams,you end up crying to yourself while craddling your pillow...

Let God help you. Nothing is as great as His power and His love,and nothing else on a temporary Earth matters as much. He knows every single thing you are doing and feeling,and will never leave you. Never. Though you can't see Him,His presence is always around,for you to seek comfort from,to cry to,to share your joy with. God never fails. And for that,I'm truly thankful for His blessings,and His never-failing comfort,helping me to navigate through this emotional minefield shrouded by clouds darker than the night sky,as I tackle the worst of all feelings slowly eating me inside out. Thank you oh sweet Father,for hearing my cries! Praise You forever and ever,Amen.