Life is full of ups and downs

*big sigh*Training this entire week seems more shag than previous-is it because there is more focus on intensity or is it because of the accumulation of fatigue over the days as they pass?I seem to be getting more and more drained,my performance is dropping at an alarming rate(not that it is very good to begin with,but hey...)and my usual "xiong" endurance is replaced by this lingering cloud of exhaustion and general "sianess".

Yesterday was such a killer(well,isn't everyday?)!Only Megan,Sarah and I trained and we had to face 3 excruiciating sets of circuit training,exacerbated by our past days' injuries and muscle tears-ooh!"chiong" one round,sit-ups for one minute,"chiong" again,lunges(crazy!this really tore my ligaments and hamstrings and whatever muscles on my legs!!!) for 30m,"choing" again,dead fish(lol,we took every opportunity to sprawl on the mat,it was just oh-so-tempting!) for 1 minute,"choing" again,step-ups(on the super-elevated steps,mind you) 15 times for each leg,"choing" again,10 "burpies"(is that how it is supposed to be spelt?lol)...and that is one set(round of applause?)I almost gave up after the second set-my legs were screaming from the 6X1.2 the day before,I was unusually breathless and there wasn't much mood nor enthusiasm left in me at that time.Yet that was a pure test of my mental strength-how long can you last?And then,being the everr-loyal Victorian,I thought "Nil Sine Labore",this training will eventually benefit you-and VJC!For VJ!And then ignoring the expletives hurled at me from my already lifeless body,I stuck on with it and completed the last set,many thanks to the great encouragement from Sarah and Megan and Miss Ng.

Then we did 14.8km today.It started off well,at the usual slow and easy pace,but then Liyin and I joined Miss Ng(thanks again for the push when we really felt like giving up) and pushed ourselves to run faster-at her crazy pace.So it was 10km push,then 4.8km slow run...Can I be dead now?*small smile* Yeah,long list of seemingly complains,but then I kinda enjoy all these torturous trainings,it makes me feel that I'm alive and at least it helps greatly at keeping the blues away.They can really keep me focused on the task at hand(always the best anti-depressant eh?) and make me forget all THAT.So yeah,training still rocks,and never will my passion for running be dampened.*strong smile*

Sometimes I really regret dropping KI to take GP,on account that I cannot cope with the "chimness" of that subject and the abstract ideas put forth.Sure,it may be difficult,but then isn't everything difficult in the beginning?It has to be difficult,waiting for us to overcome,and that's the essence of life.KI may seem irrelevant,but the musings brought forth are so interesting(especially Mr Ixer's lectures)!I really miss them and all those moments when he says something that seems to make sense,but is in fact logically wrong,yet nobody realised because it is such a commodity that everyone accepts it,and then we all go "ooh-yeah hor!".Why didn't I give myself a chance-at least till mid-year-to take the subject and see how it goes?Why always the easy way out and depriving myself of the opportunity just beacuse I'm a made-to-be pessimist who never thinks I'm good enough for anything and everything(but most of the time it is true)?Alas!It is too late to contemplate on my heading-for-failure life.Maybe a large dose of self-esteem and confidence can help quash this brewing inferiority complex within me.Just maybe...

SHAG!

The title says it all...I'm completely shag-as in downright exhausted.But it's a kinda "shuang" exhaustion,because I know all the rigorous training today was worth it,all part of the bumpy "journey" to the track meets in July!Persevere,we are almost there!Sprint drills 5 sets,5X60m sprints,6X1.2km(this is the real killer,endurance and speed and a whole tonne of mental strength)Great run my dear gals,the great sense of achievement and satisfaction with the knowing that you have completed something you never thought you could,is really worth the toil.What's better than seeing the finishing line(in today's case,the ending point)emerge in front of you,just a bit more and you have done it!Whoo!Stay inspired gals,no matter how much you hate the training,it's really really worth it!For VJC for yourself:)
And to top it off,I played 2 rounds of floorball with the crosser guys,against CT and then floorball guys.Whoa,it was a great game with all the sliding(clap for Jon Tan who slid and saved the ball-twice),colliding(loud "thuck!" generated from DeCruz's and another guy's sticks*winces*) and shouting("here!here!here!pass here!"shouts Rong Hua to DeCruz lol)Hope we can have more of these friendlies next time,maybe try soccer or squash?
Had econs test today...oh man...I don't have to say a thing-I'm really going to be dead(exacerbated by the fact that it accounts for 5% of promos,how cool is that?)I couldn't finish,spent too much time on the comparison between monopolistically competitive firm and monopolist than perfectly competitive(WHAT was I doing?!).And when Mrs Chua said,"okay,5min more,class" I knew it was the end for me.What more but panic all the way man!5mins to complete half the question?!Are you kidding me?Right now,I just have to pray hard for a passing grade...*crosses her fingers*
And there is still project work to think about*pulls her hair* arghx!This is so frustrating,the demise of a problem is the rise of another*growls*(life sucks,that's why)It's so difficult to collaborate with the rest of the group,and till now the GPP is still all over the place*sighs*Just hope we can get things done in due course!
Defied conventions yesterday,but I don't want to elaborate more on that*bitter smile* I was-still am I guess-out of my mind,simply put.

Think twice!

Oh my dream shoes...nike air max 360!

Labour Day tomorrow...no school, great time to catch up on my work and sleep -something which I have been so mercilessly deprived of for the past few days-just look at my hanging eyebags as dark as the rings of the China panda-not a pretty sight,ughx.

Today's training ended late,but more of the time was spent hanging around and laughing with the crossers,it was great.Thanks Sarah for your cool sharings,I think I gained some insight and inspiration to pursue what I really want!The major problem just lies with the success rate...hmm...but hey,anything is worth a try and it would be worse if I know I didn't give it a shot-would be kicking myself in the arse for being such a coward.*crosses her fingers*Liyin get well soon!I miss your bubbly presence and your ultimate lame jokes!

I have to improve more more more on my sprints-was so demoralised at my timings for 300m,nearly 12s slower than the supposed timing!I was like,dumbfounded,and told myself,come on!But the next few runs were even worse,either status quo or they worsened.UGHX.Maybe it's due to the distance and having to mainain the speed I had(which is considered kinda max for me) when doing 150m.Hmm,shoulders back and forth!Not sideways!Maybe I should really run with the bathing towel around my arms,as what Sarah's coach forced them to do,to humiliate myself so I can learn faster and better.*bites her lip*

I'm really improving my mindset and that is an achievement man!*claps*I no longer think that much about THAT,and normally what happened today would have sent me into the abyssmal pits of hell,but hey,it ain't that bad,finally!Sure I do feel lousy at times,but that feeling no longer domineers me,I seem to be in control.Ignore me then,see if I care,I'm not gonna get affected by your condescending ways*smiles*really,there's more to life than just THAT.

Time to go,the econs tutorial seems to be screaming at me :(

Balance

Okay,enough of the whining shit.Man,I can't believe I was so bloody stupid to be affected so badly that day and even to the extent of thinking the devil has cursed me(what the hell?).What was I thinking-ruining my own life and spirits with increasingly consuming thoughts of the worst imaginable nature.It's a wonder I don't go crazy(ha,maybe I am.who knows?)
It's time to grow up and be more matured,write sensible stuff and not spill the precious blog over with incessant,dumb,roll-your-eyes complains that ain't even true but were unfortunately made true by my own emo-mindedness(what the shit...?)It's high time to achieve a balance.I was slogging through the dumb econs essay,in preparation for the even-more-dumb econs test coming up,when I realised,fuck it!I have completely no fucking idea on what to write and how to start!Flip goes the lecture notes:why the hell must the MR curve cut the LRAC(or is it the MC?shit...I need my notes again)curve at the minimum point?Why is the MES shaped that way?What's up with the long-run equilibrium graph of the monopolistic competitive firm-it looks like a freaking hairy spider for shit's sake!I'm seriously dead,there won't be much time to catch up.*sighs*
And I really have to work on my sprints,man!I have to run faster instead of settling into the comfort of long slow runs!The self training of 8x900m today was horrible-horrible timings!Ughx,open the strides wider,lift your legs up more,don't land on the side of the heels,keep arms at the side,concentrate on breathing,ignore the fire from the sun,heck the burning in eyes when pespiration enters...It will be a long road ahead,but I am ready and will willingly undertake the training,for running is what drives me,for now.
It's late,dammit, and there's econs tomorrow*grumbles in frustration*I need the brain power to stay awke and focused!