"Out,out,damned spot!"The famous words of Lady Macbeth trying to wash away her years of guilt that has been shadowing her life.Haha seems like an appropriate analogy,replacing the guilt with sadness and the years with months(the impact is lessened,haha,but it can do...).Mr Ho yesterday went through this really don't-know-what-word-to-use lesson about how blood represents
:the guilt of the war soldiers
:the sacrifice people and animals suffer
:the birth of new life
and they really sent me into deep contemplation about all those “chim” literary implicit meanings about how something that seem so mundane(okay,maybe blood ain’t that mundane) can actually be symbolic of so many things.Sounds weird that I would go think about such stuff,but this is the power of literature-and Mr Ho!:)
Yesterday Mr Tan was telling us about how VJ have to depend on the “za bors” to win in the various sports competitions when we were biking.Rong Hua got message after message detailing the results of the matches,most of them were “Out of semis” or “We lost”…and they were mostly the guys’ teams!Fight on VJ!Don’t give up at this last moment!
Today is Megan’s birthday,HAPPY 17th BIRTHDAY my dear friend!Wishing you all the best for your future endeavours and a million thanks for all your time and friendship!*big hug*As the usual custom,we dunked the lucky(or in Megan's view,unlucky,haha) gal.Brilliant Sui Hui led her to the fountain by saying that we hid her birthday gift somewhere near the PT and she has to go find it herself.Once we were there,we just grabbed her legs and dunked her,struggling and screaming,legs first into the fountain.What a sight!It was in front of all the rock climbers and the choir members,and maybe some parents who were there for the IP parents meeting(whoops!:p).Then Pamela,the gal blessed with the gift of gab,managed to convince Megan that we hid the real present near the concourse,and poor gal!She believed us!It was the koi pond next,haha,though it was much harder this time as she was really really resisting.All along she kept screaming,"Don't want!I very scared of the fishes!Very scared of the fishes!AHHH!" It was so funny,we kept laughing and couldn't lift her up properly!*big laugh*
In the end we managed to dunk her,or rather half-dunk,with her legs in.The sight of her scrambling out of the pond still screaming "I very sacred of the fishes!" is so worthy of a YouTube video man!:DHappy happy birthday my friend!
Saturday, May 12, 2007
Thursday, May 10, 2007
It's not over!Fight on!
Oh man...not to sound complaining and draggy...but training today was so so bad!It was the worse I have ever felt in weeks...it's seriously the weather(okay,I'm consoling myself here,but hey,cut me some slack yeah?).The sun was OH-MY-GOODNESS burning,steaming,scorching,scalding(and the list goes on longer than Rapunzel's hair...so random...oh well...)I think Sarah is right that the sun does sap one's energy(not that I have lots to begin with,it was such a dreary day!),or whatever that is left!But hey,complains aside,I still managed to finish the sets,and that's what really matters,right?RIGHT?
The morning started off really badly-guess I'm not a morning person.I just hate mornings!It's the drag of all the inevitable,impending lessons that are taking such a great toll on me.I'm serious.I just Don't like attending lessons!Guess my brain has already degraded to such a rotting pile of crap that I just can't seem to focus on anything intellectual*recalls her O level days and shakes her head*I'm such a slacker,I'm so alarmed at the rate I'm slacking,I'm so gonna be dead...but I don't know how and where to start!
Ughx I feel so whiny and dumb(I really am).I should stop all these and really pull my socks up.There's no point making so much noise and not doing anything,everything starts with me and I must take the first step!Go girl!
Go VJ basketball guys!Fight on,don't let yesterday's match affect your next match!Stay strong and confident as you have always been!
Great game soccer boys!Beautiful goal nearing the end,whoo hoo,though the two offside "goals" were rather wasted.All the way!!
The morning started off really badly-guess I'm not a morning person.I just hate mornings!It's the drag of all the inevitable,impending lessons that are taking such a great toll on me.I'm serious.I just Don't like attending lessons!Guess my brain has already degraded to such a rotting pile of crap that I just can't seem to focus on anything intellectual*recalls her O level days and shakes her head*I'm such a slacker,I'm so alarmed at the rate I'm slacking,I'm so gonna be dead...but I don't know how and where to start!
Ughx I feel so whiny and dumb(I really am).I should stop all these and really pull my socks up.There's no point making so much noise and not doing anything,everything starts with me and I must take the first step!Go girl!
Go VJ basketball guys!Fight on,don't let yesterday's match affect your next match!Stay strong and confident as you have always been!
Great game soccer boys!Beautiful goal nearing the end,whoo hoo,though the two offside "goals" were rather wasted.All the way!!
Tuesday, May 8, 2007
Let it fade...
Well,what can I say?I have to let time-and great friends-heal the wounds that have been plaguing me for the past few days,so much so that they were stifling...I have been stupid enough to let them affect me so adversely,what was I doing?I'm just making it worse by being so susceptible to all those fellings...ughx...I just feel so stupid sometimes(maybe I am?no wait...I really am),so inferior...and I will ask myself,"Wait.Why is this happening?"Dumb.
Focus,focus,focus...Intervals yesterday was killer,but I keep telling myself that it is good for me and will pay off in the future.I just have to accept it no matter what.And I love running!I should be happy that I can do all those runs...Maybe it's the scorching sun that dragged the moods of all the trackers today,we all look so gloomy!And the atmosphere was perpetually down,it was kinda depressing(haha,nothing new for me,I guess)But I still enjoyed the time spent training with the rocking crosser gals-you guys rock man!Thanks Sarah for your great company*big smile*
Today was a normal day.Though it was so "malu" in the morning when Liyin and I were the first to head into the hall,only to see streams of people trickling in...then out...NO ASSEMBLY! *shakes her head*That was so duh man...and we had to walk out looking really blur and awkward.Look what being "enthu" has done to us!Hahax...but it was really funny to see Liyin's expression.
Thank you Sarah!*big hug*Thanks so much for your encouragement in my sprints today!It really made me see hope in strengthening my sprints and build up on my(as Miss Ng puts it) "fast-twitch muscles".Cheer up gal,we're all in this together...and we can both break out of the dark clouds that always threaten to gather around our heads.All the way!
Focus,focus,focus...Intervals yesterday was killer,but I keep telling myself that it is good for me and will pay off in the future.I just have to accept it no matter what.And I love running!I should be happy that I can do all those runs...Maybe it's the scorching sun that dragged the moods of all the trackers today,we all look so gloomy!And the atmosphere was perpetually down,it was kinda depressing(haha,nothing new for me,I guess)But I still enjoyed the time spent training with the rocking crosser gals-you guys rock man!Thanks Sarah for your great company*big smile*
Today was a normal day.Though it was so "malu" in the morning when Liyin and I were the first to head into the hall,only to see streams of people trickling in...then out...NO ASSEMBLY! *shakes her head*That was so duh man...and we had to walk out looking really blur and awkward.Look what being "enthu" has done to us!Hahax...but it was really funny to see Liyin's expression.
Thank you Sarah!*big hug*Thanks so much for your encouragement in my sprints today!It really made me see hope in strengthening my sprints and build up on my(as Miss Ng puts it) "fast-twitch muscles".Cheer up gal,we're all in this together...and we can both break out of the dark clouds that always threaten to gather around our heads.All the way!
Sunday, May 6, 2007
Back-ups are losers
It's not something that I realised suddenly.I have known it all along-this implicit knowing that I try really hard to keep hidden and squashed at the back of my deceiving mind,yet it was finally uncovered and allowed to roam my thoughts-today.Many thanks to my dear brother PJ,who brought across this revelation and made me realise how stupid I was not to heed the warnings no matter how glaring they are in my face.I was just too stubborn,too blinded,too...stupid.
What the hell,mistakes only come across to you when they are committed and not when you are in the process of committing it.That really sucks.The hard way to learn?Ha,I rather not.It's so painful to learn through the hard way...but *sighs* I guess that's life ain't it?Fuck.And to make matters worse,sometimes you never realise you keep making the same mistake over and over again,because the situations present themselves masked in such different ways that your overly-optimistic(I WAS optismistic?now that's a surprise...)mind don't realise it's going to turn out all WRONG.Or is it just because the mind is just too stubborn(not determined,mind you)?
A depression so deep it finds a way into the Soul,
and travels through every pore of your Heart.
A depression so large it encompasses every bit of your Reality,
and leaves Reality a cloudy memory.
A depression so dense it compresses every will you once had,
and bows you down to accept it as it's own.
A depression so devious it takes you piece by piece,
and consumes each piece day by day.
A depression so truly disheartening,
and leaves you no other emotions.
A depression so dangerous, it slaughters, everything, inside, of you.
Why can't I just learn?It's too late now to mourn over my wrong-doings(sounds so serious...ha,it is really serious la,I guess) and the only way to cope with them is to swallow them all down,no matter how unwilling.There's no choice!Swallow your miseries and face the world with your head held high,never succumb to the condescending remarks nor attitude others present to you,show that you are strong and not be afraid.Don't let them have it their way-to see you crumble under the pressure-but instead defy conventions and be who you are,don't let them have the chance to drown in glee brought upon by your sorrows.That's the way of a fighter*smiles*
Self-training again today,8X900m,which is kinda slack compared to what I'm doing in school.So today is somewhat a rest day for me*stretches her fingers*,enough to face tomorrow's training,I hope."We're all in this together..."Come on gals,we can do it!All the way!=)
*sighs*Thinking about training makes me feel so much better...running is really the best anti-depressant...
What the hell,mistakes only come across to you when they are committed and not when you are in the process of committing it.That really sucks.The hard way to learn?Ha,I rather not.It's so painful to learn through the hard way...but *sighs* I guess that's life ain't it?Fuck.And to make matters worse,sometimes you never realise you keep making the same mistake over and over again,because the situations present themselves masked in such different ways that your overly-optimistic(I WAS optismistic?now that's a surprise...)mind don't realise it's going to turn out all WRONG.Or is it just because the mind is just too stubborn(not determined,mind you)?
A depression so deep it finds a way into the Soul,
and travels through every pore of your Heart.
A depression so large it encompasses every bit of your Reality,
and leaves Reality a cloudy memory.
A depression so dense it compresses every will you once had,
and bows you down to accept it as it's own.
A depression so devious it takes you piece by piece,
and consumes each piece day by day.
A depression so truly disheartening,
and leaves you no other emotions.
A depression so dangerous, it slaughters, everything, inside, of you.
Why can't I just learn?It's too late now to mourn over my wrong-doings(sounds so serious...ha,it is really serious la,I guess) and the only way to cope with them is to swallow them all down,no matter how unwilling.There's no choice!Swallow your miseries and face the world with your head held high,never succumb to the condescending remarks nor attitude others present to you,show that you are strong and not be afraid.Don't let them have it their way-to see you crumble under the pressure-but instead defy conventions and be who you are,don't let them have the chance to drown in glee brought upon by your sorrows.That's the way of a fighter*smiles*
Self-training again today,8X900m,which is kinda slack compared to what I'm doing in school.So today is somewhat a rest day for me*stretches her fingers*,enough to face tomorrow's training,I hope."We're all in this together..."Come on gals,we can do it!All the way!=)
*sighs*Thinking about training makes me feel so much better...running is really the best anti-depressant...
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