The spirit stays...

Yes,many of us are still reeling from the shock of the loss yesterday.This may sound cliche,but it was really a tough fight,VJ soccer guys played hard,and that is really what matters most.Win or lose,they played their best and for that,they deserve our utmost support.All the way,guys,VJ will be behind you always.

The penalty shoot-outs were so nerve-wrenching...it's either they get it or they don't!And whenever the player braces himself,the silence that pervades the entire place was really choking(except for that instance when that dumb MI guy started clapping-what a jerk!)The game was rather rough too,lots of shoving and skipping and falling and kneeing and injuries...and lots of header balls as well,as though they all wanted to play a "high" game.All in all,great job,don't cry and cheer up guys.And hope Mr Tan's food poisoning gets better,so that he will be able to answer calls and reply messages meaning well and providing the much-needed consolation.

Look ahead!
There is no thief
To steal away your aspiration.
Look ahead!
There is no tiger
To devour your prayer.
Look ahead!
There is no man
To doubt your realisation.

The school was so empty today,especially the field which was usually populated by the soccer players training.Instead it was just the trackers and throwers who came back for the usual Saturday trainings,and the soccer gals who went for their match against TJ later(great job gals for that 1-0 win!)We played a really dismal(in terms of number of people) game of soccer amongst ourselves,Sui Hui,Megan and I against De Cruz and Thiru.It was funny watching Megan squirming whenever the ball was passed to her and the squealing sounds we uncontrollably emit when we missed.*big laugh*The "aiyoh,hopeless la" looks on the guys' faces say it all.We got more help from the pro Liyin when she joined us later,and thanks largely to her skills,we won the badly outnumbered guys eventually*smiles*Not bad for a start huh?

I was asked the question,that I so often get from people everywhere,today.I was walking home from the bus-stop when this guy(he's kinda cute actually) tapped me on the shoulder and asked whether I was Singaporean.I told him yes,I was born and bred in Singapore(true-blue Singaporean la),its just that I happen to be a mixed-blooded freak of nature that is based in three different countries.He was like,"Cool!" and asked for my name(I told him) and number(I stupidly declined...I know,I'm still kicking myself for being so dumb!).The main point I want to ask is not whether I'm stupid enough to not give him my number,but whether I really look so "un-Singaporean".Hmm maybe my mother's genes are really strong...

Thanks for the numbness

Why is it always raining when you least want it to and scorching when you would rather it rain?Ah,life's like that eh?The best solution:rain during the night!That way,we all can have a cooling sound sleep and the rest of the activities during the day would not be affected.But alas,nobody can do that *resigned smile* just wishful thinking on my part I guess.it really sucks to hear the thunder rumbling during econs lecture and seeing the dull gray sky saturated with evil rain afterwards.UGH!Intervals training was cancelled today...Oh well...enough of complaining about something that I have no control over.

Haha,Jon Heng was such a LOSER today(no offence man...really*smiles*).He spent ages waiting for his drumlets to be fried and we just sort of hung out at the canteen sharing secondary school anecdotes...and when he realised they are finally done,he was beaten flat by the crosser guys(who are obviously faster,haha)who whisked away all the food before he could even walk to the stall!*big laugh*And when he was back complaining and gesturing,he was greatly pitied by the ever-sympathetic Yi Wen who held up a half-eaten drumlet and offered it to him...!Oh man...I have never laughed so hard in so many weeks!

It's great...I'm getting more numb by the day...and I'm really grateful for that.It is kinda refreshing to not think too much about everything and anything and letting my mind work overtime and eventually killing myself with my thoughts.How stupid can that get?Void and chasm...that's what I shall look to from now on.

Yesterday I enjoyed Fear's company.
We loved each other
Deeply.
Today I am enjoying Doubt's company.
We love each other
Strongly.
Tomorrow I shall enjoy Will's company.
We shall love each other
Unreservedly.

My dear Sarah,GET WELL SOON!Let this rough patch be only temporary and that you will not be so affected by all those things.I guess we are kinda similar in the way we let our thoughts consume us,so much so that we let them get in the way of our lives.We must learn to be numb,and void,and be a bit detached sometimes...it won't help to keep the recurring thoughts within us,it's restricting.Hope you cheer up and may happiness pervade both our lives!

Let it be over...

I'm just so tired and sick of all those recurring thoughts...ugh!I want them to vanish forever,so that I won't have to think anymore...My brain feels so drained,like totally sick with the same old thoughts over and over and over(and it goes on...) again...argh...it's mental torture,or rather self-induced psychological mutiliation(what the hell?!).Sometimes I wonder,what am I doing all these for?What's the point?And what's the opprtunity costs(oh man...let's not go to THAT...)?Enough is enough...everyone has limits and damn,I'm fast reaching my [famously-reputed] highly tolerant limits...It's going to be over soon...*crosses her fingers*

Ugh,I hope sincerely that training can be tougher.Call me nuts,crazy,weird,whatever is deemed appropriate,but seriously I miss all those tough trainings that can really take my mind off all these crap.I need that great big dose of anti-depressants!I want to tire myself to breaking point and feel the pain..oh the sweeeeet pain coursing throughout my body(the sadist emerges in times of real depression*grins*).Sometimes its really good to feel some pain-it makes you focus on something thus numbing the other pain that comes from the other crappy shit.

What of the lad who never wins,but never quits the race?
Who knows before the day begins,he's doomed to second place.
Two left feet; too many thumbsbut still he plods ahead.
He'll arrive to catch the crumbs,after the winners have been fed.
Who is this lad of average skills,who's most of the human race?
One by one he'll climb life's hills,just trying to keep life's pace.

Just something for all the crossers/trackers...ALL THE WAY!I hope the fighting spirit of that lad inspires you guys to work hard and not to give up at this most crucial training period.Other CCAs may be done with all their trainings and are happily enjoying various games...but PERSEVERE guys!Let your passion for running and your very strong(built up from all the long-runs,haha) mental strength carry you forward!Jia you my fellow friends!

Ps. Get well soon Sarah!I miss you!The PE dept was so empty today without your chirpy chatter!Hope your ankle is better after that bad slip,and your fever subsides!Take care my dear friend :)

Time is running short!

I understand what you mean,Sarah!I was just checking the calendar in my handphone when I realised today was the start of week 9!Just 2 more weeks and school closes for June hols(actually not hols,I would rather call it the month of June...*sighs*)which hust screams hours and hours of mugging!Oh man*brain starts shutting down*But thank god training still continues during that month,I don't know what I would be doing otherwise!Man,I wonder how life would be like without running-there would be something so large that is missing!:(

Ahh...but there is more to "time running out" than just the days seeping pass us like uncollectable water...WAY much more than that *sighs* Sarah knows what I mean.Yeah,I do agree gal,but what can we do?We just cannot DO THAT,it would be so damn weird!I guess we need alot of preparation and "self-psychoing" before we can take the first small step.*sighs*there's a big what-if attached man!*pouts*

My memory is getting from bad to worse!I was finally clearing out my huge luggage-like bag today when I realised I have left Kenneth's birthday gift inside-for a whole week!His birthday was on 7th May,and dammit I left the gift at the corner of my bag without remembering to pass it to him on that day,and all other days that have passed!(sorry ken...:p)Hmm...is it my memory or am I just too caught up with the crazy life I'm leading now,so much so that I don't even have time to check out what's that funny lump at the side of my bag...*sighs*

Econs test,physical geog test,chinese oral...Help me!I'm drowning under the pressure of the screaming notes!