crushed...

My breath is void of oxygen
My heart a scribble without rythm
I don't know what I'm doing
Or what I should have done
I need someone to listen
Instead of only one

I don't want to be alone

The panic sets in
As darkness becomes her comfort zone
This tired soul is stuck here all alone
Wondering what she has done
To turn them all away
The reason for her loneliness
Only she can say

I am alone

Her walls are crushing him tonight
A stagnant shallow pool of blood and flesh and tears
Where no one wants to go
Where she swims in all her fears.
I don't want to be alone,
But I am alone.
Some things will never change.

Who knows words can be so potent as to bring someone on cloud nine down completely to her knees? *sighs* Some things will never change, and it seems some people will forever be stuck in a rut,unable to move on nor improve. Thanks ar,Jon Heng,for your crushing "information" on you-know-who. Just when I thought the chains hindering me for so long could be broken,you just simply told me what I dreaded very much to hear. Hey,not that I'm blaming you buddy,thanks for telling me now instead of later,when things could have gotten worse,it's just that the bearer of bad news usually bear the brunt of all frustrations. UGHX.

Nostalgia

The last training for the June holidays(I mean the month of June) is over...*sighs* The heavy sense of nostalgia seems to be weighing down on me. I can still clearly remember the first day of our training-killer intervals,which are the usual for Monday schedules,and after that Megan and I were on bus 43(not the usual 55,because we wanted to see how long it will take) going home,commenting on how endorphin-packed we feel once training's over. And we even told ourselves we have four long(I now realised how short this can be) weeks to experience the "endorphin-high",with 4 days every week! *sighs* And fast forward to the present...here we are,completed the last training for the month and trying to focus on mid-years for a week,before the real Nationals start streaming in...It's coming so fast! Yeah,I know,time flies yeah?

I suppose that life is
A little bit like running up a hill.
You don’t know why you’re running up a hill,
you just think that there might
be something on the other side
of the hill,
But you just can’t be sure.
But when you run up the hill,
you often don’t focus on the scenery around,
you think more about
where you’re putting your feet
than of the ever changing landscape around you.
And as you’re running up the hill
you hold the small hope:
That the journey down the hill will be quite easier.

Where did all the time fly to?

I can't, and won't be able to finish mugging everything in time for mid-years...Man I'm sure of that. Don't call me pessimistic or lacking in self-confidence,call me realistic. How many more days(realised time is no longer measured in weeks? *sighs*) till the start of school,and of course the inevitable exams? Argh,where did time fly to? And where did all my discipline run to? Can still clearly remember how studious I was just last year(nah,make that 10 months ago),being able to glue myself to the seat and mug for 8 hours straight! No fidgeting restlessly,no eyeing the TV discreetly,no head bopping to some tuneless slumber rhythm... How the hell did I manage to accomplish such a feat? Looking back,it seemed almost impossible,but hey,I did it! Yeah,but that was last time okay...It's different now,unfortunately.

Training tomorrow,another chalet to attend after that(hopefully I can get some mugging done...). Time time oh how fast you run! If only I can run as fast as you seem to slip away during the hols...haha wishful thinking on my part. *bitter smile*

It's the LAST week!

Stare at the calendar and go,"Oh shucks..." when you realise there's just one more week(yes,just one more week,ONLY one more week) left in the month of June...before the mid-years and common tests start rolling in. There seems to be a general panicky atmosphere pervading the air as worried students discuss the fastest way to cram in the endless pages of their notes,while the not-so-worried(but with still a certain degree of anxiousness...) start predicitng their expected scores and promising to do better at the end of the year. Freak out everyone,and say hello to academic work! *sighs*

Why,the start of June seems like just last week! As in,time really flies,no matter how cliche it may sound. When school ended,I made a pact to catch up on all the blank tutorials and read up myself on those lectures I have sinfully "ponned",all the while telling myself I have four weeks four weeks four weeks...but with all the trainings,chilling outs,hanging arounds,I'm starting to see the days slip by faster than the Japanese bullet train(damn...). And the difficult part is to get yourself into the "studying" mood,that is,to be able to "tahan" several hours with your butt plonked unmovingly to your chair and being able to lap up the vast amount of information present before you,without getting distracted,and most vulnerably,dozing off...something that I have perfected so well,even Sui Hui's friends were "fascinated" by how I'm able to look as though I'm still studying,yet I'm already far far away in Slumberland. *sloppy grin*

School, what can I say?
Its a jail, where you're locked up 7-8,
coming home afterwards
looking like a demon who has been shown light.
It takes you in its grip,
filling you with wisdom and knowledge,
confusing you with alegbra and
baffling you with complicated anagrams.
Its red gates,
your limatation to freedom:
slacking, playing, stoning...
All the things you cannot do,
eating red bean buns during lectures is not allowed.
Huh, school, what can I say,
the concrete walls of steel
which imprisons you from 7-8
and the going-ons in the schoolgrounds,
are what nightmares are made of: School.

Study hard people...and all the best for exams and tests! *sighs*