The crumbling of the world around me

I'm not sure how many of you understand the feeling-the feeling of your world crumbling around you. Or more like the feeling of having your breath knocked out of you, leaving you gasping, stumbling darkly around, unsure of anything and everything. I just got one of that bad knocks last night, when realisation kicked in, rather harshly, I must add. Before, I was drowning myslef in self-made fantasies and illusions, trying rather futively and pathetically to grasp on to the last shreds of optimism, yet like sunlight, it eluded me when the time for it to brighten up someone else's life came.

Then the darkness closed in, stifling and numbing. Yet despite its blanket wrap, my eyes were somehow opened, giving me a strange, bitter awakening, making me feel so stupid, so exhausted, so resigned...what have I been fighting for? Have the past few months been a modern day reenactment of Daedaleus, running around in circles and not being able to get anywhere? Have all the thoughts and efforts gone into chasing for something so irritatingly unobtainable? Or have I been living in a wrold of delusion so well-crafted that even I myself didn't realise it? Maybe it is time to truly let it go, and fall back into the monotony of a status quo. Mybe it is time to do a reality check and management of expectations, and let that burning desire fizz out into the frail ashes of nothingness...


Break Me
Hate me for being me,
look at me and scream
push me hard pull me back
try to crush my dream.

Tears flood from me like rain,
drowning who I used to be,
suffocating my inner self
who’s crying to be let free.

Don’t touch me-I’m too fragile.
To breath is to hurt,
my pain is my endless life
pushed face down in the dirt.

Tattooed with the scars of hate,
labelled like I’m fake,
break me for what its worth
rob me of what you take.

Slap me down when I rise,
call me for what I feel
laugh and leave me,
walk away and
sell my soul, the devils deal.

Now whats left of me is broken,
look at the scars and see:
I didn’t do this to my self
but I did let you break me...