Still in my heart

It's been one month and one day since you passed away, but you are still in my heart, and you won't be forgotten. Though it's really hard to get through each day doing my own things while missing you and our times together, I'm doing it. Hell yeah, I'm doing it! Something that I thought would be insurmountable one month ago has become much more bearable now. The pain may have lessened, but trust me, you are still in my heart, and always will be.

I try day and night to black out the scene of your passing, and all our last days just living life to the fullest, but they just keep replaying. It's even harder to walk past the places we have been, and see other friends having so much fun, while I stand alone, sometimes with your brothers, and mourn the empty space beside us. The space that no one can fill except you, Stan the Man.

Do I have regrets? I would be lying if I said no. But I'm at least consoled by the fact that I said whatever that was in my heart, and left nothing unspoken. I guess the biggest regret anyone could have is seeing your best friend slip away before your eyes, and having so much buried words in your heart that can never have the chance to be spoken ever again.

From now onwards begins my task of fulfilling your last wish: Not to cry and grief for you anymore, one month after your death, and to move on with life being happy. Not even one tear can be shed. I'm finding that insanely difficult, but it's your last wish after all, and I'm going to fulfill it.

I love you, Stan.